Friday, December 03, 2004

snapshots of an old circus.

Welcome to my circus, ladies and gents.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

23 years ago, that was me with my mom. I wish early childhood memories were not only present in stale brown photos. I wonder how excited I was to celebrate my very first birthday. The stack of pictures tell me it was one big day for the entire extended family - that momentous November 26, 1982 - the first anniversary of being blessed with the first grandchild, nephew and son of course to my parents.

As years motioned in blur for more than 2 decades, I shouldn't have lost that innocent enthusiasm of having to blow candles on my cake and tie balloon strings around the party place or around my wrist. Then maybe I wouldn't just be looking at birthdays as just a reminding mortality clock ticking one year at a time.

Happy birthday to me. Tick.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

of deserved worth and obscure value.

At Shakey's Pizza Hut, Robinson's Place-Sta. Rosa

Few are the times when you feel so alive; when you can almost hear the soft gush of oxygen air up your nostrils down to your lungs feeding you with sweet life. But in a split second, in your utmost shock and disbelief, a stinky and filthy beetle bug sticks through your nose blocking the passage of sweet air then ever so slowly chokes you to a strenuous and agonizing death.


Then you wake up from a nightmare. Then you feel more alive than before.

Taena, ewan. 'La 'wenta.


Wee! I got myself a Kitchie Nadal CD. And boy, I love it. I love her. Let's start with the CD cover. Astig ang cover! The dominant green in the cover's background is my favorite shade of the green called teal: mostly green with a tinge of blue. The total look and feel is so relaxed of course with Kitchie throwing a hey-I'm-fiery-with-what-I-do stare. Gusto ko rin yung kwintas na suot nya.

Flipping through the folded cover, there are the lyrics. To me, it was uniquely presented. Not your typical verse or poem-like format. At a glance, they look like short inscriptions or something written in most likely Kitchie's handwriting (with all the erasures and arrows pointing to supposed next line and little drawings here and there). Plus for the acoustic string buffs, it also has guitar chords on the sides.

Now for the music, which is of course the reason why I bought it. Now didn't I say I love the album? This lady rocks. I didn't know her back in the Mojofly days so I can't take it off my mind that she's a newbie. And what an amazing newbie she is. Her music and her voice remind me of Sarah Mclachlan's with a rockish condiment. The songs can very well serve you when you're all angst-ridden or even when you're nursing a heartbreak. I read somewhere that she's very well in touch with her spirituality, hence one song that shows that side of her. My personal favorites are Same Ground, Drained, Run and Bulong. There are 10 tracks, all in all.

Feels great when your money goes to something really worth the value. Not to mention that it's a lowcost high-quality buy -- 280 bucks at that.


Been a while since the last time I had a date with me (myself and I). And only then that I realized I miss it. Going out alone and splurging a bit serves right as a great, great treat for a yuppie like me.

Last Saturday, I watched The Incredibles. The animation just expelled me away. The forest, the ocean, the hair styles, lupet! I can't help but think of how talented the technical people behind the movie are when a plethora of software engineers and animation artists literally flooded the screen at the end of the movie. The first 30 minutes of the movie was a bit slack, I nearly fell asleep. But towards the middle, it was all wacckky and helluvah fun! I can't quite get fixated on my seat and I'm all smiles at watching like I'm some stupid iced tea model and the white screen being the big camera endlessly shooting for my pictures. Good stress-releaser I must say. Here's to Pixar for more great animated flicks!

75 pesos? Worth it.


The next day, Sunday, I wanted to go out and enjoy the rare chance of having an oncoming workless Monday. But friends are nowhere to be found. So I just resorted to dating myself. I Combo 1ed at Wendy's. The store was almost empty. It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, most people were bumming their time at home I guess. With the company of nothing and no one but cool and hip 88.3 Jam music, calamansi-flavored iced tea and the best fries in the world, I so enjoyed myself. I miss doing that. It was a good chance to ponder on things. A chance I almost lost. Why? Because I did one of the naughtiest things I've ever done, if not THE naughtiest, right there while dining in at Wendy's. At roughly around 4 in the afternoon. Sun-scorching hot outside. Wink@Nerdster.

Good food + cool music + great (and naughty) time = 100 bucks. Money well-spent.


8 days to go before the day my mom stuck her life out to caesarian-ly deliver me to the world.

23 years. Years well-spent? Hay, ewan.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

my power animal quips, "slide. and fly."

Going to Manila from Cagayan de Oro, aboard a plane

Okay, well, this is a tad late post. November 1 was Fight Club holiday to me. Apt enough as it was the death day, the movie killed me. And forever, it has changed me. Definitely the most life-transforming film for me thus far. It's a bible.

What drives me crazy about the movie, aside from the amazingly twisted concept, the ever-impressive Edward Norton and the smart narrative execution, has got to be the screenplay. The kind of dialogue that would make you want to click the pause button (and let the words sink deep into your brain's digestive system and allow the absorption of nutrients send you chills in all your bones and nerves) is unbelievably prominent and plethoric. Credits of course to Chuck Palahniuk (for the novel) and Jim Uhls (for the screenplay).

And all over this blog (in the header and everywhere in the sidebar), by the way, are some of my fave lines from the film.

Next step: Find the book. The movie blew me away. More so the book, I guess. The succeeding questions which Mr. Palahniuk poses are more than enough for me to eat, breathe and live Fight Club.

How much do you honestly know about yourself if you haven't been in a fight?
How much do you know about society if you've never rebelled against it?
And how much do you know about life if you've never had to save it?

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

no one else has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now.

Nang minsang nag-agaw ang gabi at araw

I stumbled upon this gem of a song last night. Junie, an office friend, DLed it from somewhere. Boy, was it not all over my PC's Winamp and phone's music player all this time? Speechless ako sa kantang 'to. Junie said it's part of Runaway Bride's OST CD. When I Googled it, it happened to be part of Dawson's Creek OST album as well. Yeh, you bet, the song's gotta be cheesy-mushy stuff but heck, it's hitting home!

Now if you'll listen in to my moment's soundtrack, this song's got to be in it.

(I'm sharing the song through YouSendIt, by the way. Click on the title.)

Never Saw Blue Like That
by Shawn Colvin

Today we took a walk
Up the street
We picked a flower
And climbed the hill
Above the lake.

And secret thoughts
Were said aloud
We watched the faces in the clouds
Til the clouds had blown away
And were we ever some where else you know
It's hard to say
And I never saw blue like that before.

Across the sky, around the world
You're giving me all you have and more
And no one else has ever shown me how
To see the world the way I see it now
Oh why, I never saw blue like that

I can’t believe a month ago
I was alone
I didn’t know you
I hadn't seen or heard your name
And even now, I’m so amazed it's like a dream
It's like a rainbow
It's like the rain
And some things are the way they are
And words just can’t explain
And I never saw blue like that before

Across the sky, around the world
You're giving me all you have and more
And no one else has ever shown me how
To see the world the way I see it now
Oh why, I never saw blue like that before

And it feels like now
And it feels always
And it feels like coming home
I never saw blue like that before

Across the sky, around the world
You're giving me all you have and more
And no one else has ever shown me how
To see the world the way I see it now

Oh why, I never saw blue like that before
Oh why, I never saw blue like that

Thursday, November 04, 2004

trickles of rainwater pressed against the tinted glass.

When the feeling is too deep for tears, you find solace in silence.

How do you make a kite, fly it, tug the string to keep it soaring and actually learn to let go of your firm hold once it's too high up there that it seems to be seeking freedom from you?

How many soulmates does one soul have?

Amazing at how people look for happiness yet end up lonelier and lonelier. I read somewhere that men are really lonely entities. They find companionship once in awhile but still at the finality of it all, he's a lonely being.

Drama is me.

I've a very strong feeling that I am at the verge of an emotional breakdown. The smallest provocation can stir my blood up. Disaster.

I wonder if I should continue reading The Catcher in the Rye lest I tap on undiscovered soils of self-destruct tendencies.

Nah, I'm kidding! Life is good! Yadah yadah yadah...

I never thought complication will find its way to me. Life was simple then.

Love is universal. Pain is universal. Everything is in pair. Ah ewan.

Talk about some non-sensical post. This is!

One more thing though, I'm fine. Thanks to some surprises.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

sunday afternoon and latin american movies.

After what feels like eras ago since the last, I fin'lly got to click open my DVD-ROM and load some long-stacked, oh-well-bootleg-yeah-but-what-the-hell-it-kicks-ass kind of movies. That's all I needed to turn an idly bumming Sunday afternoon into a somewhat orgasmic, well-spent time.

The whole thing turned out to be a Long Live Latin American Filmmaking (or something like that) two-feature festival. Fahrenheit 9/11 was supposed to be included but curse piracy for making poor quality pirated products! My PC won't read the DVD. I had it returned but what they give me as a replacement still doesn't darn work.

So I ended up with, as I've said, two films: the Brazilian Cidade de Deus (City of God) by Katia Lund/Fernando Meirelles and the Mexican El Crimen del Padre Amaro (The Crime of Padre Amaro) by Carlos Carrera.

Here are my takes on 'em. Don't worry, these are spoiler-free munches. Fat-free even.

Cidade, as of this writing, is top 23 of IMDB's Top 250 Movies of All Time and it's been getting rave-oh-rave reviews. These reviews, I thought, live up in soaring heights with where I feasted my eyes on for two hours. I love films that give early generous treat to the audience with its opening. Grandiose, ball-grabbing screen starter. It can be with how they present the cast or how they lay down the foundation of the plot. Cidade's opening owned me with the first scene. Domesticated scenes that was miraculously turned into a chaotic, gripping kickstart. Not to mention, that the look and feel of the setting being introduced felt so Pinoy. With just the first few sequences, the camera was so already everywhere. The filmmakers gave their audience soon enough what they're about to experience. And it's like telling, This is what this stuff is made of, you should know what you're up to! Brave, brave filmmaking.

What you have at the back of your mind after being so absorbed with the movie's appetizers is one thing: consistency. And what the f*ck, Cidade delivered! Hence, the bravery! It was brave for them to give out a fine start to think that no waterfall approach will work; they have to be consistent althrough out. But as I've said, the movie delivers! Unwaveringly. After watching it, I remember what Jessica Zafra said in one of the articles in Twisted 6, Why is it that good movies are always about violence? If not violence, drugs? Cidade is, apparently, about both. Word-deprived, I wonder the same as Ms. Zafra as I stared at the rolling credits on my computer screen.

I temporarily emptied my head about Cidade after watching it; to give way to my next watch. Okay honestly, the very first reason why I bought Padre Amaro was -- need I say it? -- Gael Garcia Bernal. Oh boy! I am yet to see Y Tu Mama Tambien and Amores Perros though. This man really chooses his projects very well. Padre Amaro was no exception. With some flubs like some dragging scenes and predictable turn of events, I still think it's a good drama. Or maybe I'm just partial to this drop-dead hotness called Gael. But what can I do? Can't help it! I can't even give out a decent review of this film as what's in my mind is only Mr. Bernal's luscious screen presence. So before this becomes all too erotic, let's end it here. All I'm saying is that you would want to see this, if not for the dynamic and powerful characters in the movie, then at least just to see Gael bare-chested. Errr.